Day 3 Pep Talk August 13, 2019 11:44
Feeling a tad defeated as I begin today's healing mile. The first words out of my mouth...
" G o d I n e e d a p e p t a l k . "
Palpitations not getting better- maybe actually a little worse- a bit more relentless- a tiny bit more consistent. I now have an appointment with a cardiologist that I am hopeful will explain to me what is wrong with me and what I'm to do about it.
"I'm afraid. What is this all for? Will I get better? Is this healing mile going to help me? are you going to help me God?" This is my inner voice of doubt, of fear, of anxiety.
And then I hear it-
"The voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth."
Of course my built in body barometer would be to gauge the worse case scenario. This is where I usually- scratch that- always go. Most people don't know this about me as I am an encourager at heart, at least certainly try to be. If only I was able to believe what I tell others they should believe.
Encouragement was not a common practice in my home growing up unless it was me doing it. I was so consumed trying to encourage those that needed it that I never felt validated or justified to ask for it let alone receive it myself. That would have made me weak, a burden, which was the last thing anybody needed- another problem. Which conjured up another even bigger problem, officially labeled, ANXIETY- issue numero uno.
But as I have been told-and I now am starting to believe with all of my heart and soul and bones, it's time to change the patterns of the past and learn to trust that encouragement and hope is for me too.
And for you.