Day 30 Fallen Branches October 17, 2019 09:38
Every day I do my humanly best to stay in step with the spirit and depend on him to give me clarity for the next step and the next and the one after that and... With that simple act of surrender I've also realized there is a fairly consistent and nagging tendency to try and get ahead of him- i.e. do things my way.
His voice today calms me.
"Dana, just keep my pace. Cast your eyes on me. You will know true satisfaction when you do things within my will. It's quite normal for you to want to figure things out on your own. You were taught by your experiences that people were not dependable nor interested in your ideas. But I am both; reliable and captivated by you."
"Really?" I respond, wondering how I will ever be able to get those words from my head to my longing heart.
So I start to take an inventory of the things I'm anxious about. And the list is long not to mention messy as I become aware of the fallen branches laying lifeless everywhere around me.
I think to myself, "This place needs a cleanup crew!" And then I realize that this mess of stick stacks has a disturbing resemblance to the way I'm feeling inside. There's a paralleled hunch that I perhaps need my own cleanup crew.
"How did all of these branches accumulate into such chaos?" I wonder.
And like an involuntary reflex, I answer my own question.
The chaos doesn't just arrive one day on the doorstep. It accumulates over time. As in the wild, the storms come, the winds rush in and the daily routine of nature appropriately responds. Seasons change, leaves drop, and the detached branches loose their life source and and eventually break off. The harshness of the elements can prove to be too much for this healing mile to bare.
What a metaphor of life. My life. The life long accumulation of chaos- the hurts, disappointments, failures, misunderstandings, and mistakes made piling up and overwhelming my soul.
And then I imagine a transformation. What might it take for this beautiful road to find order again? Yes a cleanup crew but more importantly the wisdom that this is what life does- no, this is what life IS. It must be willing to adapt to it's circumstances and respond appropriately to its experiences. Yes! This life shakes me and then either breaks me or shapes me and makes me who I am today.
My eyes begin to open and my perspective begins to shift. The disarray of broken and lying limbs start to resemble a renewed beauty, a redefined symbol of a life well experienced in spite of a countless number of adversities. And in comparison to many, my troubles are few. The branches may be broken and blown down but the tree still stands; rooted deeply in a foundation that cannot be shaken or denied.
And then I go back to the words I heard when I started my walk today, 'keep my pace, cast your eyes on me'. And I expectantly put one foot in front of the other and continue to journey on into the next season of change and fallen branches.
Those glorious fallen branches.
'We’ve been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we’re not demoralized; we’re not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we’ve been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn’t left our side; we’ve been thrown down, but we haven’t broken.'
2 Corinthians 4: 8-9 The Message