Day 27 Obstacles September 30, 2019 08:31
I missed my walk this morning. This was only the second healing mile miss. The first because there were not enough hours in my day which I will claim as a lame yet valid excuse. And today the obstacle is a bad ankle.
I'm frustrated with an issue I've been having since my fourth week of the healing mile. Actually it's an issue I've had since I was born. I have flat feet-freakishly flat feet-flapjack flat feet- the feet of a duck flat feet. You get the idea. And quite often if I've been on them too much or in the wrong shoes I have issues. I must be doing one or the other or both consecutively because oh dear- I have issues.
And the discouragement is setting in.
So the obvious next step would be to allow fear and anxiety to settle in. But not this time. Instead I'm going to go to the maker of the Heavens and the Earth- and my feet- and ask Him some concerning and pending questions.
I cry out,
"God! How am I supposed to stay true to the mission I am on with an injured ankle?! Why would you call me to an assignment that you knew I couldn't follow through with and finish?! Why would you do that only to know I wouldn't be able to stay consistent and ultimately I would fail." Sad face.
At the present I'm working in a position where being on my feet is an essential part of my day. The right shoes are critical. It's been a battle finding the perfect combination of treatments to survive so many hours on my tootsies. The collaboration of an expensive brand of shoes paired with the perfect concoction of essential oils and consistent foot rubs from my willing man seemed to be the perfect regimen and healing answer for these aching piggies. But as time goes on and I include these walks into my daily routine, I realize it's taking a painful toll.
I think and remember to pray,
"God, what should I do? Am I suppose to keep walking? On this bum ankle? I'm so frustrated. I'm sure you've called me to this and now what? I know you want me to put my hope and trust in you and I'm committed to it but I feel stuck. Really discouraged. Surely I must complete the mission. I have 338 days left!"
I have to trust that if I am true to the mission and remember what He has taught me so far then I can be confident there is good in it all. Even this. I look back on the healing mile and cannot recall which day it was that I was encouraged to look at the obstacles that come at me and ask what was 'good' about them, trusting that the challenges in my life were there to teach me and bring good into my life some way, some how. So I will take a bit of my own advise and desperately ask the question,
"God, what in the world is good about this?!"
And I will trust with all my hesitating heart that he has a reason and will answer me today or on my next healing mile, or whenever He chooses to and I will continue to walk when my ankle is up to it.
I open my Bible and just by chance I land on this page that says,
'So do not fear I am with you. Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.'
The heaviness from my heart lifts. And I realize this hinderence is a pivotal part of my journey. And God didn't name it the Healing Mile for nothing.