Day 33 Cole November 16, 2019 12:04

We'll name this treasured healing mile, SONday Funday. I was gifted the opportunity to walk alongside my firstborn son, Cole. A naturally wonderful old soul with great perspective, the kindest heart an interesting combination of a cautious yet unconstrained free spirit.

Without him really knowing it Cole has been inspiring me since the very day he was born. I'll never forget the first second I got to hold his little body in my arms. I gazed upon his tiny, precious face and all I felt in that moment was a yearning and burning desire in my soul to be the best I could be for this little man. I had a fresh sense of purpose that ran through my veins like liquid gold and a newfound freedom to create a home that would prove to be a safe, encouraging, and inspiring respite for our new little family.  And from that day forward my life's mission was just that. I devoted my existence to being a mamma to him and 17 months later, his younger brother.

Wonderfully, this day stirred up in me those precious memories 23 years past and mimicked the emotions that played out in me that day Cole was born.

As we walked he shared his driven spirit and heart with me. That inspired me. We talked about trusting God with all of his life and mostly his future by being aware of His direction and following His lead. That inspired me. Freedom was an emphasized topic of our conversation and the priority and importance of not being tied down doing something just for the sake of doing it. That inspired me. "Mom, I want to have the freedom to do what I want to do. And it makes me happy to get to chose what that looks like." He said. That really inspired me.

I told him that I celebrated his burning desire to use the gifts God has uniquely given him to fulfill the purposes he's been created for. And that his spirit of enthusiasm, sense of adventure and desire to challenge himself was music to this mammas soul. 

As I journal these words, it's safe to say God is faithful and He's not only heard the prayers of my heart for 23 years but also answered them- maybe not always the way I wanted Him to but in the way He knows is best for Cole.  It's quite clear to see these supernatural workings taking place in my firstborn's life. Today I have the profound knowledge that they are being answered- every year for the last twenty three, day by glorious day, moment by waking moment, one uttered word at a time.

"God, give Cole a clear sense of your purposes for his life. Check. Guide Him, teach him, help him to trust you and love you. Check. Put good people in his life that inspire him, recognize his gifts, challenge him in his strengths and build him up in his weaknesses. Check. Give him a free spirit to take sensible risks that would cause him to have to rely on his faith to get him to where you want to take him. (Did I really pray THAT?!) Check. Help him to see you in everything. Check. Check. And Check."