The Healing Mile
Day 3 Pep Talk August 13, 2019 11:44
Feeling a tad defeated as I begin today's healing mile. The first words out of my mouth...
" G o d I n e e d a p e p t a l k . "
Palpitations not getting better- maybe actually a little worse- a bit more relentless- a tiny bit more consistent. I now have an appointment with a cardiologist that I am hopeful will explain to me what is wrong with me and what I'm to do about it.
"I'm afraid. What is this all for? Will I get better? Is this healing mile going to help me? are you going to help me God?" This is my inner voice of doubt, of fear, of anxiety.
And then I hear it-
"The voice of truth tells me a different story
The voice of truth says, "Do not be afraid!"
The voice of truth says, "This is for My glory"
Out of all the voices calling out to me
I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth."
Of course my built in body barometer would be to gauge the worse case scenario. This is where I usually- scratch that- always go. Most people don't know this about me as I am an encourager at heart, at least certainly try to be. If only I was able to believe what I tell others they should believe.
Encouragement was not a common practice in my home growing up unless it was me doing it. I was so consumed trying to encourage those that needed it that I never felt validated or justified to ask for it let alone receive it myself. That would have made me weak, a burden, which was the last thing anybody needed- another problem. Which conjured up another even bigger problem, officially labeled, ANXIETY- issue numero uno.
But as I have been told-and I now am starting to believe with all of my heart and soul and bones, it's time to change the patterns of the past and learn to trust that encouragement and hope is for me too.
And for you.
Day 1 The Mission August 11, 2019 14:42 4 Comments
Began my day today with a beautiful walk in the perfect setting on a gorgeous day with my anxiety ridden but very excited four legged Murphman.
This walk was different than all my other walks- in fact to be honest I rarely walk- like ever. Running has always been more my speed and now even writing those words has new meaning to me.
Today I was gifted a mission- a one year challenge- a glorious and exciting charge by my Maker. He told me in a voice I heard in my heart that I couldn’t ignore, he said, “Dana, beautiful girl, I want you to do this walk every day for one year.” And I immediately asked, “every day?!” And he responded, “Every day. This is your new assigned life mission. Walk this one mile every day for one year and I will teach you new things- every day. I will show you who I am and reveal myself to you. I want you to share what you see, hear, learn and experience. Write it all down, share it and call it 'The Healing Mile'.”
I can’t tell you what ran through my veins- excitement, anticipation, relief?, doubt (but only for a second), hope, a hearty dose of joy and did I mention... joy?!
And then the questions started to surface-I asked Him...
”Only one mile?”
And the Spirit responded, “Well you can do more but the one mile is what you will benefit from.”
And the spirit responded, “Yes, every single day. Sun, rain, snow, sleet, everyday.”
”Only walking, not running?”
And the Spirit responded, “Yes, you can run if you want but running can’t help you. You've been running your whole life. Walking with me will heal you. Running will not.”
”Will this heal my heart?”
And the Spirit responded, “Yes, eventually, not right away but that’s what this is for. I’m retraining (not reprogramming like robots) but retraining (like a loving parent) your mind to believe the truth and not the lies about who I am, how much I love you and what I can do and accomplish through you.”
”With my anxious Murphy? He can be such a pain sometimes!”.
And the Spirit responded, “Yes- as much as you can. He is a reflection of you. He shows his anxiety by spinning in circles, pulling ahead, jumping, crying, being afraid of everything from flies to thunder. You and him have so much in common. You just hide yours. Can you see it? You tell him, “It’s ok Murph and desire he trust you yet he still has so much fear. As I show you how to 'be still and know', you will show Murph the same. You can learn to trust together.”
”Do I share my journey?”
And the Spirit responded, “Yes, you share it. Instagram it, write it down, document all of it. Photograph all I show you. And most importantly talk with me, keep your eyes open to what I show you each day.
He continued to tell me, “ You have the most beautiful heart baby girl, I see it. I know how much you love me and seek me. I know you want to do my will and follow me and love me and you are ready for the next mission. The time is now. I have been preparing you for this. Welcome to my will, where nature and love and grace and wisdom dissect and become alive and transforming in your life.”
He also said, “You have done an amazing job raising your boys”, but before that He said, “I love you Dana Ann McNamee” and I thought it a little odd he did not include my maiden name to which he responded, “You are a McNamee now, you became a McNamee when you and Shaun became one. I put you together. That was my plan from the start. You belong together. I made you for each other. There were a lot of things that needed to happen in order to put the two of you together and you are perfect and meant to be. And look what came from you both...
Your beautiful boys who I plan to prosper who are deeply rooted in me because of your example, who will do great things. They will come to know me and love me and serve me with their lives and they will raise families that love me as their foundation will be built on love. And I responded, “WHOA.”
And I proceeded to walk the path that led me home and along the way I saw monarchs. Lots and lots of monarchs and I love monarchs. And then I saw a cardinal which someone recently told me represents a past loved one that comes to visit. I sensed my Uncle Bruce looking over me, perched on a Spruce tree top telling me he was so proud of me and he watches over me and to keep trusting God because he is real and good and Heaven is wonderful. And to write and do this mission God has called me to.
I agreed and blew the bird a kiss and told Uncle Bruce I loved him.